Once upon a time, I quite liked blur. This was a long time ago and I haven't liked them for a long time - this was compounded when I was shown this article that Alex James had written for the Sun about fast food. so that you don't have to read it, I will simply put a few quotations below. He recently visited Greggs, McDonald's and KFC factories.
"The little bakery in my local village offers goods too sweet and sugary and is massively over-priced. I can think of much worse things than a Greggs opening up there. "
Oh yeah - like what? I think the residents of your charming Cotswold village might disagree.
"Sausage roll machine — as big as a football pitch and more than 1km long —"
Sorry mate, the machine is not going to be longer than 1km, it wouldn't come close to that.
I iced triple chocolate cupcakes with an enormous icing bag full of chocolate cake topping and I squirted jam into doughnuts using a machine controlled by a foot pedal. "
How many drugs were you fed before you sat down to write this utter dross? It's unspeakably bad.
"All three million burgers produced here every day have to be the same and McDonald's have made it into an art form. There's a huge mince masher which you really don't want to fall into, chewing up big rocks of fresh and frozen beef. "
Children wouldn't write this badly. Although there is some originality here, I have never heard of anyone describing McDonald's as an art form.
"It's like magic seeing how the process binds together a perfect quarter pounder, which pops out of a conveyor belt at the other end. "
"Magic" - seriously?
"They gave me a bag of the seasoning which goes on a Big Mac and I've been using it to flavour my home-made bread. It's awesome and, according to McDonald's, contains just salt and pepper. What is so awesome about that?
This has to be a hoax - or else he has spectacularly lost his mind.
"The little bakery in my local village offers goods too sweet and sugary and is massively over-priced. I can think of much worse things than a Greggs opening up there. "
Oh yeah - like what? I think the residents of your charming Cotswold village might disagree.
"Sausage roll machine — as big as a football pitch and more than 1km long —"
Sorry mate, the machine is not going to be longer than 1km, it wouldn't come close to that.
I iced triple chocolate cupcakes with an enormous icing bag full of chocolate cake topping and I squirted jam into doughnuts using a machine controlled by a foot pedal. "
How many drugs were you fed before you sat down to write this utter dross? It's unspeakably bad.
"All three million burgers produced here every day have to be the same and McDonald's have made it into an art form. There's a huge mince masher which you really don't want to fall into, chewing up big rocks of fresh and frozen beef. "
Children wouldn't write this badly. Although there is some originality here, I have never heard of anyone describing McDonald's as an art form.
"It's like magic seeing how the process binds together a perfect quarter pounder, which pops out of a conveyor belt at the other end. "
"Magic" - seriously?
"They gave me a bag of the seasoning which goes on a Big Mac and I've been using it to flavour my home-made bread. It's awesome and, according to McDonald's, contains just salt and pepper. What is so awesome about that?
This has to be a hoax - or else he has spectacularly lost his mind.
What were you doing reading The Sun?
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